There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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