i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
