I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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