Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
