omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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