i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
