Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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