Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
