come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
