Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
