every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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