soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
