Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
