You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
