I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
