If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
