Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
