So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
