she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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