More tranny stories later!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
