dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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