just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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