i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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