just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
