forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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