Sry I called you an 8
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
