I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
