You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
