we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
a search helicopter?!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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