I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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