sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
