Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
