Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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