he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
