she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
