Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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