I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
