I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Its about making memories worth repressing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
