Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Panties = found
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
