Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
