return my video game
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
