i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
