im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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