I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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