i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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