why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
