I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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