HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
