I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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