Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
worst night to have a conscience
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
